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The universe will expand, then it will collapse back on itself, then will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. When the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through again, & again, forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around. Because this time is all you have. Prot (KPAX)

Saturday, March 31, 2012

CIA Secret Prison: Polish Leaders Break Silence About Black Site

CIA Secret Prison: Polish Leaders Break Silence About Black Site
Posted by Unknown at 2:04 PM No comments:
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Can Mars Save American Science From American Politics?

Can Mars Save American Science From American Politics?
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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Five Hypocrites and One Bad Plan

Five Hypocrites and One Bad Plan
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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

AIDSmeds - Top Stories : Marijuana and its CD4 Receptors: A New HIV Treatment Strategy? - by Tim Horn

AIDSmeds - Top Stories : Marijuana and its CD4 Receptors: A New HIV Treatment Strategy? - by Tim Horn
Posted by Unknown at 1:28 PM No comments:
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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Scientists Cure Cancer, But No One Takes Notice

Scientists Cure Cancer, But No One Takes Notice
Posted by Unknown at 10:53 AM No comments:
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Microsoft Botnet Bust: U.S. Marshals Raid Offices In Two States To Disrupt Massive Botnet

Microsoft Botnet Bust: U.S. Marshals Raid Offices In Two States To Disrupt Massive Botnet
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Monday, March 26, 2012

SCARY MUTHA

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Supreme Court Clerks Predict Health Care Reform Will Be Upheld

Supreme Court Clerks Predict Health Care Reform Will Be Upheld
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Nuclear Summit: Barack Obama Tells Russia's Dmitry Medvedev More Flexibility After Election

Nuclear Summit: Barack Obama Tells Russia's Dmitry Medvedev More Flexibility After Election
Posted by Unknown at 11:22 AM No comments:
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Paul Volcker: Obama Socialist Comments Have 'No Connection With Reality'

Paul Volcker: Obama Socialist Comments Have 'No Connection With Reality'
Posted by Unknown at 6:38 AM No comments:
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Exxon Valdez Oil Spill a Cautionary Tale for Arctic Ocean Drilling

Exxon Valdez Oil Spill a Cautionary Tale for Arctic Ocean Drilling
Posted by Unknown at 6:33 AM No comments:
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Lobbyists, Guns and Money

Lobbyists, Guns and Money
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Sunday, March 25, 2012

US senators: Investigate employers asking for Facebook passwords | ZDNet

US senators: Investigate employers asking for Facebook passwords | ZDNet
Posted by Unknown at 10:26 PM No comments:
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James Cameron Mariana Trench Dive: Director Reaches Deepest Spot On Earth

James Cameron Mariana Trench Dive: Director Reaches Deepest Spot On Earth
Posted by Unknown at 10:10 PM No comments:
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Saturday, March 24, 2012

A Nation Is Watching North Carolina's Amendment One Fight... Are You?

A Nation Is Watching North Carolina's Amendment One Fight... Are You?
Posted by Unknown at 2:06 PM No comments:
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Friday, March 23, 2012

Facebook Condemns Practice Of Employers Demanding Employee Passwords

Facebook Condemns Practice Of Employers Demanding Employee Passwords
Posted by Unknown at 3:16 PM No comments:
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ATV Space Truck Blasts Off For International Space Station - VIDEO, PHOTOS

ATV Space Truck Blasts Off For International Space Station - VIDEO, PHOTOS
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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Three Hidden Time Bombs in the GOP's Medicare Budget

Three Hidden Time Bombs in the GOP's Medicare Budget
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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

US geologists find $1trillion of mineral reserves in Afghanistan - Telegraph

US geologists find $1trillion of mineral reserves in Afghanistan - Telegraph
Posted by Unknown at 11:38 PM No comments:
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Monday, March 19, 2012

Americans Deserve a Presidential Science Debate

Americans Deserve a Presidential Science Debate
Posted by Unknown at 9:17 PM No comments:
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Barack Obama Prepares for War Footing

Barack Obama Prepares for War Footing
Posted by Unknown at 6:17 PM No comments:
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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Post-Citizens United Money May Swamp Congressional Candidates

Post-Citizens United Money May Swamp Congressional Candidates
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Friday, March 16, 2012

Democratic Senators Warn About Use of Patriot Act

Democratic Senators Warn About Use of Patriot Act
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Why Republicans Aren't Mentioning the Real Cause of Rising Prices at the Gas Pump

Why Republicans Aren't Mentioning the Real Cause of Rising Prices at the Gas Pump
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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Pi Day in America

Pi Day in America
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U.K. State Dinner Highlights Obama, Cameron Friendship

U.K. State Dinner Highlights Obama, Cameron Friendship
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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

'Solar Black Hole' Anomaly Sends Conspiracy Theorists Into Frenzy

'Solar Black Hole' Anomaly Sends Conspiracy Theorists Into Frenzy
Posted by Unknown at 9:57 AM No comments:
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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

New Bill Aims to Repeal Louisiana's Anti-Evolution Law

New Bill Aims to Repeal Louisiana's Anti-Evolution Law
Posted by Unknown at 10:10 AM No comments:
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Al Gore At SXSW 2012: 'Democracy Has Been Hacked'

Al Gore At SXSW 2012: 'Democracy Has Been Hacked'
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Wisconsin Voter ID Law Ruled Unconstitutional

Wisconsin Voter ID Law Ruled Unconstitutional
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Monday, March 12, 2012

Texas Voter ID Law Blocked By Justice Department

Texas Voter ID Law Blocked By Justice Department
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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Melissa Harris-Perry Defends President Obama Hugging Professor Derrick Bell (VIDEO)

Melissa Harris-Perry Defends President Obama Hugging Professor Derrick Bell (VIDEO)
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We Must Invent a New World

We Must Invent a New World
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Friday, March 9, 2012

Ofcom, UK Media Regulator, Weighing Whether To Strip Murdoch Of BSkyB Stake

Ofcom, UK Media Regulator, Weighing Whether To Strip Murdoch Of BSkyB Stake
Posted by Unknown at 3:21 PM No comments:
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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Military's Subsidy of Limbaugh Insults Taxpayers

Military's Subsidy of Limbaugh Insults Taxpayers
Posted by Unknown at 5:49 AM No comments:
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iPad Features: 11 Awesome Things You Need To Know About Apple's New Tablet

iPad Features: 11 Awesome Things You Need To Know About Apple's New Tablet
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25 Amazing Ancient Beasts

25 Amazing Ancient Beasts
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Solar Flare Could Disrupt Power Grid, Satellites (VIDEO)

Solar Flare Could Disrupt Power Grid, Satellites (VIDEO)
Posted by Unknown at 4:45 AM No comments:
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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Bomb Buried In Obamacare Explodes Today-Hallelujah! - Forbes

The Bomb Buried In Obamacare Explodes Today-Hallelujah! - Forbes
Posted by Unknown at 11:02 PM No comments:
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Saturn Moon Dione Has Oxygen Atmosphere, NASA's Cassini Spacecraft Finds

Saturn Moon Dione Has Oxygen Atmosphere, NASA's Cassini Spacecraft Finds
Posted by Unknown at 9:25 AM No comments:
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Monday, March 5, 2012

The Koch brothers are trying to seize control of the libertarian think tank Cato.

The Koch brothers are trying to seize control of the libertarian think tank Cato.
Posted by Unknown at 11:39 AM No comments:
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Russia Elections: Observers Report 'Serious Problems' In Russian Vote

Russia Elections: Observers Report 'Serious Problems' In Russian Vote
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Sunday, March 4, 2012

Tragedy in Ohio: When the Bullied Strike Back

Tragedy in Ohio: When the Bullied Strike Back
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Saturday, March 3, 2012

OUR NEXT 'SNOB' PRESIDENT





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Friday, March 2, 2012

Olympia Snowe’s Strange Martyrdom

Olympia Snowe’s Strange Martyrdom
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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Harry Reid to ‘promote’ anti-Fox News Media Matters book

Harry Reid to ‘promote’ anti-Fox News Media Matters book
Posted by Unknown at 5:21 AM No comments:
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German Scientists Developing Robotic Mission to Saturn Moon Enceladus

German Scientists Developing Robotic Mission to Saturn Moon Enceladus
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Dolphin Speak

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Dolphin Call Offers Introduction, Invitation To Play, Study Of Bottlenose Greeting Ritual Shows

Dolphin Call Offers Introduction, Invitation To Play, Study Of Bottlenose Greeting Ritual Shows
Posted by Unknown at 4:12 AM No comments:
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A Comedy Hint

Jim Richardson's "How to Write a Joke::"



the 7 basic joke forms"



Writing Jokes for a Speech vs. Stand-Up Comedy



Structurally speaking, joke writing problems are exactly the same for anyone trying to get a laugh.



The righteous minister tells circumspect religious jokes that conclude with a moral point.



the saloon comic may tell a variety of jokes that conclude with points running the moral spectrum.



But the bones upon which the comic flesh adhere are the same. Jim wants to help you get some comedy in your bones.



Then, you can dance to your own tune.





We will not be discussing content. We will be discussing form.



The focus will be on



"how to".





After learning these simple techniques, you will decide



"what" to joke about.



Whether our speech is serious or humorous, it is an act that requires writing techniques to put it over.



Stand-up comics will also be reading this online preview of Jim's home study program.



For convenience sake, Jim will not distinguish between speeches and comedy routines. Jim will refer to both as



"your act."



Jokes: the building blocks of all keynotes speeches and comedy routines



As business speakers, we may be preparing a joke we are only going to tell on one special occasion. Then again, we may be putting together a joke we will tell 100 or more times, much like a stand-up comic.



Also, as a speaker, we may be making a very serious point without any joke in it. A serious sentence can be greatly improved by the same techniques which make our comedy better.



More about that later.



'Nuff said.



Let Jim get on with his act: showing us



"How to Write A Joke"



We now get to the meat of our problem:



Ideal joke form:



Setting up the 1st joke



Punch line (actual 1st joke)



Punch word (every joke has one, sometime hard to guess in advance)



Topper (2nd joke)



Second topper (3rd joke--one that legitimately tops? rare as hen's teeth)



After we have written the jokes, our next tasks are:



determining the order of the three jokes which make up this ideal joke form



Tag lines and how to avoid them



Devil's in the details: syllables--less is more





Set up lines:



Use no more than one or two lines (sentences) to set up a joke.

These set up lines must give the audience all the information they need to get the joke in as few words as possible.





We have to know what they know and what they don't know:



However, the speaker or comic must always know where the audience is at in terms of the information they have regarding a given subject. He must always take them on from that exact point.



During James Watt's first nine months in office (1982), Johnny Carson knew most people were unaware that the man was Secretary of the Interior. Carson had to laboriously state the man's title in every series of set up lines for a James Watt joke. After Watt was in office nine months, the man had made a certain reputation for himself. Then, Carson no longer had to explain who the guy was.



But my friends think that's a funny joke!



There is a major difference between telling a joke to our friends, family or business associates and telling it to a general audience. A business speaker may be a big success speaking before his branch office where he is well known. However, he may have a surprise in store the first time he addresses his company's national convention. There he may be less well known than at the home office or, worse, totally unknown to everyone attending -- except the folks who came with him. The same hundred people may still applaud long and hard. But it will be a hollow sound in a big hall if the rest of the 2-5,000 conventioneers sit on their hands, confused by the speaker's "in" references.



The difference is that our intimates can relate to us because they have a frame of reference.



On the old "Tomorrow Show" starring Tom Snyder, author Truman Capote pointed out what he considered to be a true sign of friendship:



if people in conversation know what the other person is going to say next, and they feel free to cut them off in mid-sentence. Sort of like, "Yeah, I know what you mean; did you know this-about-that?"



Common problem:



origin of jokes



How often have we spontaneously created an original joke in conversation with our friends?



Every day?



Now, how to translate that same essential joke to a general audience?



We must always ask ourselves,



"What does 90-100% of the general audience know about my joke's subject?"



What do they not know about this subject?





Why do I care?



If I'm smart, I want to make sure nearly everybody has a chance to understand the subject. Only then will they laugh.



Even if our point is serious and there is no joke, the audience will better understand what we are saying if we properly



"set them up".



What is a joke?



The punch line is the sentence which contains the joke. A joke is anything which makes the audience laugh.



A joke is usually in the language But it may also depend on a gesture Or, even a banal line can work with great delivery.



Where is the punch in that punch line?



The first thing Johnny Carson taught his new writers was to end their jokes on the laugh.



Beginning-Intermediate-Advanced- Graduate school level



speakers and comics All have major problems grasping this seemingly simple concept.



Even Jim finds himself forgetting this fundamental in the heat of creating a new joke or premise routine.



Punch Word



therefore, Jim has found it helpful to break things down a little more precisely:



To sell a joke, the idea turns on one particular word.



Jim has named this word the "punch word".



After the audience hears the punch word, they get the joke and laugh.



Tag lines: stifle Audience laughter Avoid



We will usually want to place the punch word at the end of the punch line.



Why?



So audience laughter will not cover the rest of our sentence, and drown it out.



As George Burns once said, "If I'm talking when they're laughing, I should be taken away!"



Also, speaking words after the punch word gives the audience a false cue that a joke has not really been told, that they were mistaken. Often, they will shut up in mid-laugh. They are eager to hear what punch line they imagine will follow. They conclude that our actual punch line must have been "just a set up line" that they foolishly found funny.



A fun game you can play today, and come back to often:



When writing serious speeches containing no jokes, see how many of our sentences can be improved by putting what at the end of the line?



The word that is the key.



When we watch movies, when does a tense dramatic scenes turn?



On a word that functions like a key opening a lock.



Such key words are invariably placed at what part of the sentence?



The end.

better yet: try to end on words of one syllable.



Better still: end on a single grunt.



Most often repeated sequence of lines in the movies?



Scene from classic movie script --



HERO: Let's go.



(HERO'S HENCHMEN ANSWER WITH A GRUNT.)



(ALL EXIT.)



-- end of scene from classic movie script



Next scene: much action, little dialogue, etc.

Do you recognize this scene?



you have been to the movies before?



Trying out new jokes:



Another common problem: when we are trying out jokes for the first time, we get to the punch line.



But the audience laughs before we get to the end . . ..



They got ahead.



Like friends interrupting, they understood the joke earlier.





Usually, we just mistakenly placed the punch word in the middle of the line. Probably because it made grammatical sense. But people neither speak nor think in strict accordance to the rules of grammar. So, we must edit and re-write for the logic of the laugh alone.



Re-writing:



You will find yourself developing a poetic sense for re- arranging your words. A renewed study and appreciation of prosody, the art of versification which includes the study of metrical structures, rhyme, etc., would serve all speakers and comics well. In any case, put in simple terms, you will definitely have fun making sure to end on the punch word.



Target the punch word, then put it at the end of the joke!



When writing, draw a bull's-eye around the elusive punch word:



If handwriting our jokes or typing them up, always circle the punch word.



If using a computer, always boldface that punch word so it leaps out at us on the video monitor.



When you print out your word processing, whether or not you bolded your punch word, circle it anyway.



Trust good ol' Jim.



Makes the punch word a target for emphasis.



Forces us to end on a punch.



Circle a word in the middle of the sentence?



sure it is the punch word?



Now, what?





That's correct: re-write!



Get the punch word at the end . . ..



Getting three jokes for the price of one:





Topper:



is a second joke that feeds off the previous punch line and needs no new set up line.



It gets more laughter than the punch line.



Second topper:



is a third joke which feeds off the first topper and in turn needs no new set up line.



It is funnier than the first topper.



Illusion of Improvisation



Both toppers create the illusion of improvisation for the audience.



Jack Douglas, a member of Bob Hope's monologue writing team, was interviewed by Larry Wilde in Wilde's How the Great Comedians Create Laughter, p. 151: Jack winks, then says,



"The two toppers sound like ad-libs. It's the greatest thing for an audience to think you haven't got a routine, that you're doing it all off the top of your head."



Basically, some members of the audience might feel that they could have come up with our one-liner. But, just sitting there listening to us, even the most arrogant among them will admit: no. Even they wouldn't have had enough time to take it further by coming up with the two toppers.



Sculpting your writing



The speaker or comic has worked six months to a year getting his act together, and testing it in front of live audiences. Our next audience does not know, nor does it want to know this behind- the-scenes information. They are looking for magic, not facts. Since the speaker-comedian-magician appears to have just invented the toppers, the audience is stunned. They assume he is a genius at thinking on his feet.





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